Pregnant abroad, thousands of women every year will have their baby in a foreign country. Having a child abroad can be overwhelming and challenging. Being away from your family, finding your way with foreign healthcare, and giving birth in a hospital far away from home are just a couple of things that you’ll be dealing with. But don’t worry, starting your family abroad is possible and having your little one grow up in the country of your dreams is definitely a big plus.
Evelien lives abroad and is pregnant with her first child. Originally from the Netherlands, she is starting a family in sunny Australia. Here she shares her journey and tips for everyone who is (or thinking of being) pregnant abroad.
Evelien, you decided to move to Australia around 4-5 years ago. Can you tell us a little bit about that journey?
When I initially came to Australia, I only planned to travel around for six months. Six months turned into a year. A year turned into two. Then four. And now, five years later, I am still here.
It is not easy to obtain permanent residency in Australia. I’ve always been in Australia on temporary visas (working holiday, student) and never had the option to stay in this country for good, even though that was my greatest wish.
Until I met my current partner, a true-blooded Aussie. We’re expecting our first child in April and have just applied for our partner visa a few months ago. So after five years, I can finally say I have officially permanently moved to Australia! 🙂
Now you are settled in Sydney, Australia, met a handsome Aussie, and are pregnant with your first child. How is it to be pregnant abroad, far away from your family?
It’s not always easy. I am very grateful I have a loving and supportive partner and great friends, but I miss my family a lot. I am incredibly close to my mother, and I would’ve loved to experience my pregnancy journey with her by my side.
The current covid situation makes it all a bit harder as well. Australia’s borders are still closed, so no one can leave or enter the country. Not knowing when I’ll see my family again and when I can introduce them to our little baby boy is quite disheartening. I am very thankful, however, for modern-day technology. I don’t know what I would’ve done without it!
I am very grateful I have a loving and supportive partner and great friends, but I miss my family a lot
Evelien
What do you think you will miss from having a baby in your home country (e.g., your family, different healthcare system, etc.), and how are you dealing (going to deal) with that?
When you have a baby in The Netherlands, you get a doula to visit your home every day for 8 hours for a week. How brilliant is that! This is something we can only dream of in Australia.
I’m mainly worried about having a small support system after the baby is born. My partner’s family don’t live around the corner either, so it will be just him and I figuring out this parenting thing together. If the borders would’ve been open, my parents would’ve been here to help us with the baby for the first 2-4 weeks.
Another difference I love is how down-to-earth Dutch people are. I followed a Hypnobirthing course (highly recommend!) and told the Doula I’m not really nervous or concerned about giving birth. She said, “That’s because you’re Dutch. You guys are so much more relaxed than women here in Australia.”
Some other differences between having a baby in Australia vs. The Netherlands:
- In The Netherlands, you can leave the hospital as soon as you’ve been able to go for a pee by yourself (if there are no other complications). In Australia, you generally stay two nights (even five when you go private!)
- In The Netherlands, you only get tested for gestational diabetes if you belong to a risk group. In Australia, everyone gets tested for gestational diabetes.
- In The Netherlands, you get fewer ultrasounds. In Australia, you get an ultrasound at 7, around 12, and around 20 weeks.
- Cesareans are more common in Australia (22%) than in The Netherlands (17%)
- Home births are not as common in Australia as they are in The Netherlands
Do you think you will do things differently in raising your child, compared to how you may have raised him back home?
We will definitely raise our little boy bi-lingual! When I’m alone with him, I’ll speak mainly Dutch to him, and Michael will give him his share of English. Of course, he’ll also get plenty of English input once he starts going to daycare/school, etc. All my Dutch friends here in Australia will also speak to our baby boy in Dutch only :).
There are definitely some traditions I want to keep. We’re already starting with sending out a ‘geboortekaartje’ (birth card) when he’s born, which is not very common in Australia, but a typical Dutch thing to do. And we will also eat ‘beschuit met muisjes’ (biscuits with a certain type of dutch sweets) to celebrate his arrival! 🙂
Next to that, I want our little boy to know how fortunate he is to grow up in a country as beautiful as Australia. I think Australia’s lifestyle and living standards are incredible, and I never take this for granted. I also want my little man to realize how lucky he is to grow up in such a free, safe, sunny, and friendly country.
How do you see the future of your family? Will Australia be home? Or do you see yourself living in another country, or even your home country at some point?
Michael will never leave Australia, and I’m completely fine with that 🙂 Our dream is to purchase a house in The Northern Beaches where we can live with our little family. We definitely hope we’ll be able to have one or two more kids in the future as well.
Ideally, each year we’d spend around ten months in Australia and two in Europe to visit friends and family. I’m not sure how this is going to work out with work and our kid’s schools, but we’ll see about that in the future 🙂
What are your tips for other expats who are pregnant abroad or thinking of starting a family?
Figure out how the healthcare system in the country you live in works first! Our pregnancy was not planned, and figuring out how the entire healthcare system works in Australia was quite the challenge. Because I was still on a student visa, I did not have Medicare, which meant my insurance only covered part of my medical costs.
Also, the public hospital where I’m planning to give birth did not want to accept me as a patient until I had medicare. When we applied for the partner visa, I applied for Medicare as well, so we’re all good now.
It’s also important to realize that not having your family around is harder than you think. I know expats who lived here in Sydney that went back to The Netherlands because they couldn’t live without their family’s support.
Thanks Evelien, we wish you all the best with the final weeks of your pregnancy! Any last words or advice to all the expat mothers-to-be out there?
Just enjoy your pregnancy 🙂
Are you pregnant and living abroad? What are your struggles or tips for mums-to-be? Be part of our community, help other mums, and share your story.
Interested in Evelien’s journey as a new mum in Sydney? You can continue to follow Evelien via her blog: eefexplores.
Ready to start your own moving abroad story? Pick up a copy of the Let’s Move Abroad book to help you get started and move abroad in no time. For more stories of people like Evelien, continue reading below.
